One child debate

At the age of 38, I am too late to have a second child.

Despite knowing and worrying that my gal might be left with no family when we leave the world one day, we still do not want another child.

Some said this is selfish. Some comment one child will be lonely.

On hindsight, I am glad that we only have one. Call me selfish, but I don't think I can handle two children especially when I am a SAHM. Cooking, washing, housework, schoolwork guiding are very daunting. After working for nearly 20 years and giving it up all, I am still trying to do better in my new role.

It is not an easy journey, I admit.

My wish is to nurture our only child well and for her to meet her right partner and start her own family before we fulfill our role as parents. 🤗

Let it go

After being a homemaker for 14 months, I finally learn and constantly remind myself to let it go.

I came a long way. Is only after I reach the "breaking point" and a "wake up call" from my daughter, I decided I should begin to take things easier and regain my sanity.

Take a deep breath, see things from a different perspective might just make life a lot happier.

Chill... 😅

Lion mom and the homemaker

Started watching the drama, 'Lion mums' on Toggle and fell in love with it. Mothers are able to relate to the stories and we can learn from them too.

'Lion moms' is a new term as opposed to 'tiger moms'. A typical lion mom would nurture the child in other ways and not only exam oriented and focus on good grades.

A year on being a homemaker, or the stay-at-home mom, SAHM (the modern term), has changed me in many ways. Some people said I am fortunate, some said I am not capable enough for the new role, some relatives feel sorry for me that I have wasted my years of education and giving up a highly paid job. Guess what, they probably are correct.

Wearing several hats is, however not easy. To be the wife, the mom, the daughter and the daughter in law can be taxing at times. And to overcome loneliness, especially when all your friends are working and you have no one to talk to most of the time, is something I am still working hard on. The never-ending and repetitive housework is sometimes boring and tiring. You run out of ideas for cooking. Nevertheless, I am still learning to take things slower, relax, to be a better mom to our little lady, nurture her to my best and to be a better homemaker.

The best thing that comes out of this decision, at least for now, is my bonding with our little lady has grown even more. I am thankful to be always there for her as she combats her allergies. To be there for her as she finishes her last lap of preschool education before embarking on her next formal education journey. And to provide guidance in her schoolwork and enrichment, besides helping her with her daily schedules and making sure that she has enough time to play and watch her favourite shows on TV.

A little surprise came yesterday from the Berries Chinese enrichment teacher when she mentioned I must have put in a lot of efforts in guiding as she can see our little lady coping very well and can attempt a higher level next year.

Being a SAHM is not always a poorly made decision. There will be sacrifices. But there will be rewards in some ways that probably not received in the short term.

My little lady is happy, at least till now, that the lion mom is always at home, giving all the love she can.

One more month before my new BIG role

Counting down.. one more month before I assume a new role.

I would never imagine I will agree to assume this role one day.

So it happens, out of the sudden. Destined? A sacrifice? Loss of financial freedom? Loss of contact with the outside world? 

I have to admit, all these questions popped in my mind. What will I become??

Will becoming a SAHM further deteriorate my mental health? Over the last few years, I became mentally strained and now physically tired and often suffered from loss of memory and forgetfulness too. Concentration has become an issue. This is NEVER me before.

Worried. But I have no choice. GO with the flow.