Her Primary One journey . 結束。

15 November 2018

Last day of Primary One. 😘
成绩优异。Laid a strong foundation for all subjects. Am very thankful. All efforts and time taken in the revisions, practice and Math concepts explaining were all worth it. Of course, the enrichments helped too.

Teacher commented she has shown vast improvement in communication with adults. More importantly, she can be relied on by teachers and needed minimal supervision. ♥️🙏

Looking forward to her next journey in P2. Till then, let her enjoy the long awaited school holidays! 🎈🎉

May

Unfortunate incidents keep happening to Clarisse. I have a bad feeling about this month. But am looking forward to the school holidays and our first family holiday (only the Tangs) on a plane!

3rd May:
Miss Lim informed me that Faith's mom was unhappy that Clarisse drew on Faith's eraser. And also asked me if I am aware of the jelly that Clarisse had asked her to buy. It was upsetting when her mom told me that Clarisse even pinched her during Math class. Clarisse denied and cried badly. I do believe in her as she treats Faith and Esther as her best buddies. She would not playfully pinch Faith. Nevertheless is words versus words.

She asked if I believe her. I told her I do but she must never lie.

I also hit her using the hanger because she took a pencil from Anisa again. She refused to listen and kept telling the friends that she likes it and wish she has it. Her friend then kindly bought it for her. I insisted for her to return the pencil the next day and explained to her I do not want another parent to complain about her.

For the eraser incident, Miss Lim believes it's a misunderstanding when I let her know that Clarisse did not do it on purpose. She had thought of darkening the picture already drawn on the eraser.

Keeping my fingers crossed that with them not sitting together from today onwards, there will not be such accusations anymore.

From last month, Clarisse has been clutching my arm when we are walking. She said she wants to lie on my arm. Haha! It's a sweet gesture and I hope it can last for years to come! 😍

She still doesn't like pork and chicken served in Chinese restaurants, would rather eat plain rice with soya sauce and broccoli. And said she only wants to eat homecooked meat.

Teacher asked them to mark the items that they have helped out at home. In addition, I asked her to wash the utensils and bowls when she finished her lunch so that she can mark it under the Others section. She learned to make the bed and is happy to do so. She also tried to help to throw the trash and fold clothes. A good initiative by the school.

I went for my long awaited massage on 7th May at PS after a few weeks of stress over revision for her mini tests. The therapist is surprisingly good, ensuring every part of my body is taken care of, including the inner thighs. Since my products have been opened for too long, I decided to buy a new set home. And I am so lucky to have a 15% discount this month. My journey to a less cellulite, firmer body awaits. 😂

Clarisse has an aptitude for spelling and she could spell the word - orientation in class and teacher said very good.

7th to 9th May ~ Tests for Term 2
She suddenly recalled a mistake for English - selected fly over the sky instead of in the sky. For Maths, she admitted that she only checked once as teacher said they can do colouring after the paper is finished. I was worried about her making careless mistakes in the calculation although she told me the questions for the word sums and her choices of equation seem correct. Word sums is 3 marks each. As for Chinese, she recalled she made one mistake for 'tai yang'. She wrote 'yan' instead of 'yang'.

She told me Esther said to her during recess that Faith's mummy said cannot play with her. She was so upset that she cried at the tuckshop. A few friends came over to console her, including Esther and Faith. I was taken aback and had wanted to WhatsApp Faith's mum about it but decided not to. I am tired of these nonsense.and decided to exit the group chat. This mom definitely doesn't know how to behave as an adult.

10th May:
She happily told me she had good news and bad news when I fetch her from school. She had a perfect score for Maths but 18/20 for English. Besides the preposition mistake, she made another for pronouns. Chose I instead of we. She even cried when Faith proudly said yes she scored 19.

She suddenly had stuffy nose at night and woke me up.

11th May:
She said she was tired in school and teacher did not let her go home as they need to take Chinese test results.

She had a perfect score for Chinese paper 2, 8.5 out of 10 for listening, perfect score for reading aloud and 7 out of 10 for pick and tell. Mdm Woo told her she did well for all except she couldn't answer some questions for pick and tell. Told her to 加油.

She had slight increase in temperature. I made lin yang for her and thankfully she was all ok the next day.

The efforts taken for revision and practice has not gone to waste. I took the opportunity to tell her that it is her hard work that leads to her excellent results.

I had sharp pain on my right leg while climbing up the stairs and Clarisse held my arms to walk up. She rushed to take water for me and asked me to put a piece of wet wipe on my leg. Then lie on bed and rest. She said she wants to be a doctor when she grows up to help people. Right now she is a little doctor. She even sweetly told me I always look after her and is time to look after me now. 😍

She has been tearing silently in class, thinking that Faith and Esther do not need her anymore as she saw them together. The individual seating for the tests had made her feel bad as she was far from them. When she was back to the original seating after the tests, she also teared when she saw Faith being sad. She had the thought that she was the cause. When she did not get the perfect score for the rolling of balls into the net for PE, she was upset that Faith and Esther had it and felt embarrassed that the rest in her group got it. I had to teach her that is the wrong attitude. She should feel happy for her friends if they do well.

16th: She had sudden headache after we got onto bus on our way home after school. And had slight increased temperature. I let her drink pocari, lin yang and additional dose of elderberry.

She woke me up at 2.30am that her head is painful. Her temperature had slightly increased to 37.7. I was so worried, gave her ibuprofen and rub her feet with peppermint. Praying in my heart for her fever to be gone, I tried to go back and sleep. At 5.45am, her fever is gone. She woke up feeling all good and was chatty.

I think her body is too heaty again after having Pepper Lunch salmon rice and curry udon on 13th.

Some of her friends got a perfect score for Chinese pick and tell. She felt sad and envied them. I had to repeatedly teach her that is not right. She can do it too.

While I was in the shower, she packed her school bag on her own without me telling her to. I was surprised by it.

When she remembered about her pick and tell scenario, she told me she was very nervous and forgot what to say. It then occurred to me that as she grows up, she started to develop nervousness. I asked for feedback from her Berries teacher and she said Clarisse's writing speed is much faster now and would raise her hand for participation. However, she tends not to have confidence in herself. Teacher told Clarisse she can do it, must believe in herself.

She told me she is the only one in the class who does not have correction for her composition practice in class. Teacher showed her piece to the class. She had remembered what teacher mentioned before they started writing.

In this month, I bought a Chinese pictionary to introduce new words to her. This is to prepare her for Chinese oral picture description next term. I also bought a English assessment book for English stimulus based conversation and let her try on what she wants to be when she grows up.

She had to miss her dance class on 20th as she was very lethargic and complained about earache. Thankfully there is no fever.

24th: Parent-Teacher meeting
It went well. Ms Lim began by saying that Clarisse has done well especially in Maths. She has all Grade 1. I was surprised when I was shown the report book by Ms Lim as she got 86.8 for English and 88.8 for Chinese. She did well for the actual tests and I realised later on that even one mark will cause a big difference in percentage. She was quite soft during her show and tell and hence one mark is reduced. She is generally well behaved but sometimes can drift away when she is talking to her classmates. And thankfully Ms Lim will separate them in the yellow group. She felt that they have grown too used to one another. Clarisse would raise her hands, wanting to answer questions and would even stand up if she raise her hand for a long time. But when she answers, teacher can hardly hear her. I didn't know that she is soft spoken in class if I didn't hear from Ms Lim.

Mdm Woo told me she is an excellent helper being the group leader although at times she is afraid to collect books from her classmates. She helps Mdm Woo alot. She can read well and did very well for her written paper, only that she is also quite soft-spoken and can hardly hear her when she answers questions. I mentioned about her being nervous during the oral and I am practising 看图说话 with her to prepare for the tests. Mdm Woo said she is just shy and should get better as she grows. She said Clarisse seldom shares her feelings with her but I told her Clarisse will come home to tell me all about her day. She then gave a thumbs up and commented very good. When we talked about Chinese not being the chosen language in her daily conversations, she emphasized that they only can speak Mandarin during her class and more exposure to English on a daily basis. She then asked me to look for more Chinese cartoons online. Also, her behaviour is good too.

Finally the last day of Term 2 arrived...And the final packing before we embarked on our first free and easy holiday! Yay! 👨‍👩‍👧

April

1st: Easter party organised by dance teacher. She didn't dare to eat too much pizza, afraid I will scold her. Wanted to get mixed berries juice for me and got upset with her friend when it was being taken away. I told her is alright, but I am glad that she still would listen to me not to eat too much heaty food and no juice allowed.

2nd: When I think she is behaving well in school, she told me the incident that she took her friend's pencil to look at it and return thereafter during Chinese class and she was reprimanded by Mdm Woo not to do that. I am getting worried as this was the second incident. She got into trouble last week too with Mdm Woo for talking to her friend in class, although she said she got distracted by the friend. I ended up telling and explaining to her repeatedly why she should not do that.

After her trial lesson at Sunflower Piano, we decided to sign up with Aureus Academy for Tuesday class with Teacher Sime-E (turns out to be a wrong choice - updates below).

The first week went by with repeatedly telling her to remember what her teachers told her. Clarisse said she smile widely to Faith when she was punished by CCE teacher but it was deemed as laughing at her friend. She turned to look at her friend and was told to eat her snacks instead. She drew on her whiteboard during a Maths game and the vice principal saw it. Miss Lim asked her if she was the one and told her she had missed a few questions.

It makes me feel jittery to fetch her from school daily; am afraid she would get into trouble with teachers. It's really daunting to hear from her that Miss Lim asked her to stop talking 5 times on the 11th. Regardless of the countless reminders, it still happened. I even apologized to Miss Lim on 9th that she understands not to talk in class and also about her friend who approached her for help at times.

It's such a difficult task to teach my own child, especially Maths word problems. After a few times of losing my patience, I am trying to take it easy. And she finally can do a two step problem on her own on 17th. I also exposed and taught her a few other kinds of word problems. Hopefully through more practice almost daily, the understanding and technique can set in. I have taught her about revision routine and with Wednesday and Thursday being free up, I will let her do assessment books and school test papers. I believe bite sized revision will serve as a good reinforcement on topics learned and for me to work on her mistakes.

She had her first graded show and tell about her favourite toy on 16th. She said she was upset when she got back her results for the first graded English listening comprehension. She had two mistakes while Faith had one and Esther got full marks. I begin to feel she is now able to compare with her friends and I told her it is okay as long as she knows the mistake and try not to do it again.

She also got her class photo taken on the 16th. Hope it turns out good.

For her dance, she had started to learn new steps and stretching is hard. I have been eagerly waiting for her exam results and teacher said it would be released on 24th. Keeping fingers crossed!

She still loves homecooked food and I am thankful. She loves 番茄炒蛋 and broccoli with capsicum very much. She also started to like stir fried vegetables again after I made a sauce made of abalone, light soya, sesame oil and pepper and added shallots. She dislikes the garlic only taste with abalone sauce. Her other favourites are pumpkin rice, fried rice, all kinds of noodles and thick bee hoon. I let her eat cintan noodles, a better kind of instant noodles which is non fried.

One of the nights while preparing her for bed, my foot ached. She quickly told me to sit on her bed and she wore her pants on her own. And wanted to hold me while we walked down the stairs. Sometimes she can be sweet like that.

Her friend, Anisa kept wanting to buy stationery for her and she went to the bookshop with Anisa. I need to keep telling that is not a correct behaviour.

19th: Probably the worst day of the month. The piano teacher of Aureus did not want to teach Clarisse anymore. Her reason is her teaching method is perhaps not suitable for Clarisse. What a lousy excuse and irresponsible music teacher! It's like a hit on my face and I had to settle it with their front desk on the available teachers.

This month is problematic. She seems to be easily distracted in her enrichment classes too. Teacher Bernard wants to separate her and Janice in the mpm class. And I have requested for her and Nicole to sit away from each other in ICR. In school, Miss Lim has asked her not to talk on several occasions. I mentioned the seriousness to her and even exaggerated to her that she might be sent to the principal's office and eventually cannot study at Jiemin anymore. She is afraid but a child being a child and with her chatty character, it still happens. On 23rd, she was even asked by the level head to sit straight during the gathering after recess and humiliated in a way when it was mentioned "There is a girl in 1 Grace who talks and she should know the rules since Term 1". It is really shocking for me.

The only consolation was perhaps the following from Miss Lim on the 9th when I messaged her:

"I think she is a very nice girl who doesn't know how to reject others when they initiate a conversation or when they asked for help. So sometimes it puts her in a situation whereby it seems like she is at fault. I will take note of her surroundings from now on. :)"

As her tooth is wobbly, it keeps bleeding in the school. She fell down in the classroom while walking to let teacher know about the bleeding during the third week. She had a bruise on her knee and pain in her left shoulder. Luckily she got well very soon.

The only happy thing for the mommy this month was that she was chosen by teacher for a group dance competition on 8 July, together with the older girls. Clarisse wanted to participate as is not a solo. But that would mean extra practice on Sundays before the actual class. I hope she will be alright with the new routine.

Daddy was away from 21st night to Shanghai. Clarisse said it was harder than she thought. Haha! She didn't think she will miss Daddy but she actually did. She counted the days and said there will be 3 of us again. I enjoy sending her to school for 3 days although is tiring and tad stressful on being on time. I love the morning short walk home.

She got scolded by Miss Lim on 26th for not listening to her instructions to keep her pencil box below the desk to get ready for MLEA. 🙁

Then on 27th, Mdm Woo told her she should not talk when her friends are speaking in front of the class and Mdm Woo even asked her why she won't talk during class in Term 1 and now she does it in Term 2. How sad to hear this...

Received her pre modern jazz results finally on 29th. I was surprised that she had passed with a highly commendable grade which is in the range of 80-84 marks. The examiner commented that she is a good girl and had tried her best and had a nice smile in the finishing pose. But she needs to listen to the music more and stretch her feet in her skips. The comments are definitely encouraging and boost her confidence.

Teacher has started to teach them new movements for junior jazz. She tried her best to stretch and was praised by teacher. She wanted to do her best to avoid points deducted in order to get a prize from teacher.

The trial class with Teacher Mervin went well. He introduced the essential skill of knowing a song before playing on piano. Clarisse was shown the MTVs of the Disney songs 'Reflection' and 'You'll be in my heart and Teacher played the latter in his melodica when Clarisse chose the piece. Hope that things will go well when her actual class starts.

Looking forward to a smoother May...😎

March - ups and downs

March has been tiring but fulfilling. And a month of awesome news!

We started the month with practice on the exam piano at Kawai Paragon. It didn't go very well as the air in the room was very still and it caused Clarisse's nose to bleed a little.

On 3rd, Clarisse attended the masterclass held by the principal of Staccato and she learned some new techniques although was really last minute. As the hub was traveling,  we had to take uber the entire day. It was also her first class at ICR Toa Payoh.

On 6th, I had a small scare when Miss Lim messaged me that Clarisse had nose bleed in class. Thankfully it was not very serious. In the evening, we went for the last piano class before the exams. And surprisingly Clarisse scored 123, which is a credit, for her mock exam.

The actual exam took place on 8th. She was excited to take the exam and not nervous. She had to leave school earlier after first half of the day. When I fetched her, Mdm Woo told me she is a good girl.

She said aural echoing was hard and she only got one out of three questions correct. Although I know that she might fail (based on Angeline and if the pink clothes and red packets did not take effect), I really wish she can pass so that her confidence won't be affected. Eagerly waiting for results by end March.

Her modern jazz exam took place on 9th. It was a nerve wrecking day for me as I had problems with uber and grab. In the end, we still managed to reach the school timely for her prep. I don't think she will do well as she forgot to follow the music in her individual dance. However, it is her first dance examination and her efforts in the 6 months of prep and courage are commendable. Hoping for at least a pass!

We visited the new library on 11th and I didn't expect she would cry by herself, thinking that I might lose my way when she waited for a short while as I went to apply her membership.

The one week break commenced on 12th. She made new friends and love her first drama experience at Act3. She wanted to be Charlotte and her wish came true. Although I had to practise the script with her everyday, she really worked hard to memorise her lines. She did well on the actual performance. She thoroughly enjoyed herself and asked for more in June and December holidays

She visited Sunshine Dental for the first time. Thankfully, there was no tooth decay. But there was quite alot of plaque. We learn the proper way of brushing. Good lesson! She started crying but managed to calm down and continue. I later found out that she misunderstood Dr Emma when she said the word, 'plaque'. She thought that her teeth will be plucked out! Haha!

When I suggested to visit a new music school for her piano lessons, she suddenly said she wanted to give up piano for violin. She was so adamant about it. I didn't want to push her much although I am sad deep in. I only wanted her to play at least one instrument that she enjoys. She went for trial lessons at Aureus academy and Asia music school. She prefers Aureus just because the male teacher gave her stickers. The lady teacher in her 50s at Asia Music school has a former way of teaching and we learn quite a lot in just half an hour. We learn the correct way of holding the violin, violin tuning, what a good violin is and played two pieces. At Aureus, we also learn the basic 4 notes in violin. I decided to hold on the switch and didn't think much about it.

I made a final decision for Clarisse to leave Staccato mainly over Teacher Jessica's last minute way of exam prep and the distance. Although Clarisse has managed to play with the changes as suggested by the principal, it doesn't reflect good on the teacher. She should have worked with Clarisse earlier. A tad sad to leave after 4 years. And also the school will be closing the Horse City branch.

I was unwell the week school reopens. After a sore throat, post nasal drip started. The cough was not serious and I thought it was not as bad as in last November. But my nose became runny for a few days and it worsened on 26th. Finally I took half a fedec tablet and as usual it was difficult to fall asleep although I was super drowsy. I felt restless with the aches the next day.

Clarisse started to have mild blocked nose then fever on 22nd after school. She could not sleep well and only woke me up at 5am on her blocked nose. She felt very tired on 22nd and fever took place. Luckily Pei brought lin yang over. Her fever was gone the next day. But she has lots of mucus in school.

Based on our symptoms, I guess we are having sinus infection. Hoping for speedy recovery!!

A wonderful piece of news came on 27th morning which brought tears of joy. Clarisse has a merit score of 122 for her Grade 1 piano. I was so overjoyed. The efforts and time invested had just paid off. It certainly boosts her confidence in herself and she believes that hard work and perseverance does reap good results now. A second piece came along in the afternoon. She excitedly told me that she is the Star Jieminite. I asked if is for March and she said it is. I thought that it might be for Term 1 and checked with her teacher via Tok Tok messaging. It is for the month of March. We are so proud of her! It is definitely a good way to motivate her and for her to remember in years to come.

She loves homecooked food than food outside, even for you mian. And she requested me to prepare food for her recess for the last week of March. I made rice with dark soya sauce pork and capsicum, fried cintan noodles and rice with tomato sauce eggs.

She cried a few times in school when her friend said she is not her friend but is not as bad as last year in Greentree.

She loves playing pieces from a new book from Staccato. And had requested to learn aria in f from her exam pieces. She was also learning the theme song from 'Lion King" and can play both hands as she practised on her own. And she can play Oh Susanna, London Bridge, Ten Little Indians and also Happy Birthday from the book.

On the 31st, we attended Shayne's birthday party. To our surprise, Clarisse started to serve food to the guests and fed Shayne and Chase. She had a wonderful time playing with the little ones.

Looking forward to a good April ahead! 😅

February

Week 1 and 2:
Lil gal had stomachache in school on 2nd and went to the general office to rest. I missed the call from school and did not fetch her home. She felt better after recess and continued her lessons but was hungry still snack break. On the 3rd Feb morning, she woke up with stomachache again and I asked her to go back to sleep after rubbed ru yi oil. Thereafter she woke up an hour later with vomiting and crying. The vomiting episodes continued for 7 times through the day. We were so worried as she puked yellowish and greenish stuff. We went to two GPs within a day when she rejected medication from the first. She came down with high fever the next morning. Perhaps Ling yang or thieves essential oil help. Her fever gradually subsided throughout the day.  Thank goodness that she recovered fast and return to school the following Monday.

As for myself, my gastric was painful on the Sunday night and didn't sleep for the whole night. I started to have bouts of diarrhoea and vomiting on Monday. The gastric was extremely painful and diarrhoea went on. I didn't eat for the day and had to endure to fetch Clarisse from school and to dance. I recovered by Wednesday. And hubby had indigestion a few days after me.

CNY went by quietly this year. Although I still did not talk to mum much, this is my favourite CNY of the past years. No rush to help mum buy things to prepare for CNY and getting myself overly busy and tired. No big crowds visiting on day 2. Don't need to see the aunts. We had a small cousins meetup for giving of ang pows to children on day 3 at sis's place.

20th: I received a message from Charmaine's mother that Clarisse had caused her daughter to fall and injure her shin.  I found out more from Clarisse and the issue was resolved amicably when Charmaine's mother informed Miss Lim about Gwendolyn pulling Clarisse's school bag. This had caused Clarisse to look back when she felt she is being pulled behind while walking down the stairs. And unintentionally she would push Charmaine who is in front of her or ask her to move faster in order to get away from the pull. I am glad that I decided not to inform Gwendolyn's mother prior to teacher getting informed.

21st: Made her the first homecooked food for recess upon her request. She loves stir-fried broccoli very much. She started to find the canteen food not as good and even willing to just bring bread for recess on 22nd and 27th.

Clarisse had nose bleed again on 25th night and her screams twice really scare us to the maximum.

She failed her mock piano exam on 25th and did badly on each section. I had never thought that she might fail as her scales and pieces are considered good. Playing consistently and with stability is the key. I am just hoping for a pass and she will not be taking piano exams anymore.

For her art lesson, she drew a card for post Valentine's Day. She told her teacher is for Daddy and Mummy when being asked who the card is for. Very sweet of her!

New changes are impending; Clarisse will be attending Berries at Bishan on Fridays from March and ICR at Toa Payoh on Saturdays.

Today is the last day of February and see ya March! 💙

The first month of 2018

The day finally arrived on 02 January 2018 (although I wish it can come slower). School started and Clarisse is officially a primary school pupil.

Her first week ended with all smiles and she has been adapting very well since.

Daddy was admitted to hospital for tonsillitis on the 1st Sunday of the month and stayed for two nights. Although stressful, I made it on time to send Clarisse to school in the mornings.

A surprise came in the midst of the unfortunate events - Teacher Allison asked if Clarisse would like to join a dance competition. But she isn't ready for competitions as yet and is afraid of being alone on stage.

It was an eventful month when our lift broke down for a week. Definitely a first in my life to climb up and down the stairs for a record of maximum 4 times in a day! I hope I did tone up a little. 😂

Clarisse said she loves going to school. And she remembers all her classmates names by week 2. Impressive! She had good work done chops from teachers. She is able to buy her food during recess confidently and holds the bowl to the seat. Her favourite is guotiao soup so far. And she eats that almost everyday. She tried fried rice, chicken rice and pasta too.

Homework volume was still manageable. And she had her weekly spelling and biweekly 听写. She had full marks and hopefully can continue to do well. She is quite organised as she will place her worksheets and notices for parents in the correct tabs in her folder and inform me about it after school.

She is also adapting to her new routine and attending ICR and Berries after her shower and lunch. And she sleeps before 8.30pm at night to have a good 10 hours sleep every night.

She helped her classmate, Gwendolyn to buy food on 24th after I told her to help her out. Her mum also asked her to follow Clarisse to the stall to buy food. And both of them become recess buddies.

Not all things are rosy, I guess.
She fell down once when someone knocked on her accidentally and luckily she did not cry. The scratch got well after over a week. And she had nose bleed on 19 January. It really scares me when she opens our door in the middle of night with a bloody nose and hysterical crying. 😥

Feedback gotten during the parent teacher meeting on 26th is positive. Ms Lim said she is quiet and well-behaved. Because of her height, teacher has to let her sit at the back. But she goes to the toilet often, immediately after teacher said “Class, stand”. I ask her to go to toilet before she leaves for school and so she does not have to go during the first period of class.

This month we also see Clarisse continue to have very good appetite. And she seems to grow alot. She is taller again and has more 'flesh' in her arms and thighs now. 😂

One good thing that we achieved was walking. Despite the scorching weather at times, we enjoy walking home after we alight from bus 807. We found a mimosa plant on a Saturday morning while walking to the bus stop and Clarisse was fascinated. Since then, she would look out for it. And I found another pretty one with flowers.

As for myself, I am calmer this month and can handle a few issues that came along. Had a few squabbles with the hub but made up quickly. I went back to gym on 25th and continue with yoga for the month. But each time I think of mum, my heart still feels heavy. It's gonna be two months since I last saw her. I enjoy being committed to my own family now and not always having to call her everyday, rushing to bring groceries and food for her and worry for her well being. It is the life that I never had before. The last twenty years of my life had been overly committed to the family, especially mum and bro; putting mum as my utmost priority. And they are the ones that cause extreme hurt to me. I have never asked for any returns in the things I do for them, only wish that they do not treat me for granted and as their ATM machine; also to leave the hub alone. It might be selfish to some, but I treasure my new life and want to live it as the way I want for the next 20 years.

Till then, hoping for a smooth February! 🙏💪🤗

My grown up girl

"I think you need tissues, mummy," she said and ran to the living room to get for me. This was when my throat tickled and I started to cough.

She related how she helped her teachers to carry the heavy detergent and other items from the redmart delivery. And she helped to scrub the floor.

She expressed that the most important job of Daddy is just being Daddy. Gosh! I was taken aback.

She surprised me when she volunteered to wash dishes in Grandma's house while we were preparing dinner.

She enjoys reading and mastered the skill of silent reading.

She is able to look after the younger children and even tried to coax Everly to finish her dinner.

She sits on stool with her legs placed on top of the other at times.

Wow and the list goes on...

Our 6 years and 4 months old little lady.. growing up!

One child debate

At the age of 38, I am too late to have a second child.

Despite knowing and worrying that my gal might be left with no family when we leave the world one day, we still do not want another child.

Some said this is selfish. Some comment one child will be lonely.

On hindsight, I am glad that we only have one. Call me selfish, but I don't think I can handle two children especially when I am a SAHM. Cooking, washing, housework, schoolwork guiding are very daunting. After working for nearly 20 years and giving it up all, I am still trying to do better in my new role.

It is not an easy journey, I admit.

My wish is to nurture our only child well and for her to meet her right partner and start her own family before we fulfill our role as parents. 🤗

First books collection day!

Feeling nostalgic and excited today. Not because of psle results day (2023 will be Clarisse's turn! 😅).

It's her Primary One books and stationery collection day.  After ordering online on 2nd Nov, I chose to collect them today (without knowing that today is also an important day for the students who sat for their psle and their nervous parents).

Sitting by the bench in the tuckshop alone going through the book list to make sure the items are in order and checking on the menu from the stalls, it just feels like yesterday. I always love the 'smell of new books'! And I can still remember my sister and my favourite fishcakes in sambal!

31 years on when I first embarked on my primary school journey.. with fond memories. I hope my gal can create hers too and reminisce them in the future. 😘

Modern Jazz

After 11 months of modern jazz, we got the best feedback from her teacher today that Clarisse has good memory. She remembers the steps once she learns it and to smile. And she is doing very well.

But there is a flipside. She gets stressed up when a new step is introduced. She wants to do well and is afraid she does not.

Teacher Allison offers a good suggestion. To encourage her to do other things before the stress or tears kick in and forget everything, if that happens.

A good dance teacher is important. Encouraging words from her mean alot to the child as well as the mommy. 😉

I just wish for Clarisse to continue to enjoy dancing, be happy and learn to manage stress as she grows up.

毕业了

欣人生的第一个毕业典禮。

在綠蔭蒙特梭利幼兒園的五年鞏固了她的語言，數學基礎也讓她接觸各個年零不同的朋友。老師說欣適應能力好，學習沒問題。欣也溫柔，有愛心並且對年零比她小的朋友有耐心。這些評價真叫人欣慰。

為學前教育寫下了美麗的完結篇。🤗🎓😘

迎新會 ～ 小一前奏

11月4日～滿懷期待的小一新生迎新會終於來臨。媽媽最興奮。特別想知道級任老師是誰。🤣

父母們聚集在禮堂。欣被分配到1Grace，我們也照著她的班跟其他父母一起坐。校长, Year head 和 Assistant Year head介绍學校和好多資訊後，我們去課室交了一大堆的表格。当我知道欣的编號是15時，真是驚喜。那是我的生日也是我們家的門牌!

欣也和其他小朋友們一起在另一間課室活動。辦完手續後我們去帶她。

一切順利。倒數倆個月，欣即將進入一個新的里程碑。新事物，新環境，新老師與同學。對我來說，是即期待也擔心。

希望她能和老師同學相處融洽，適應新環境。🤗🙏❤️

Not a baby anymore 🤣

Seeing my lil babe in her old active self and enjoying school is happiness. After the turmoil we went through without knowing the real cause of her persistent headaches, all I want is her to be healthy again.

Maybe the TCM lin yang drink eventually helps to disperse her internal heat. Or the antibiotics helps. Or blessings from guan yin Buddha... I am really thankful 🙏🤗

And this week she is suddenly interested on women developing our front. She curiously asked why hers is small 😅.

Our little baby is surely growing up, into another phase unknowingly. Soon I need to explain more as she enters the puberty journey. Till then, I treasure all her innocent moments, actions, questions...

Helpless mommy

As the 'doctor' of the house, I always administer the right medication for the family.

This time, I tried all ways from TCM to paediatric neurology but nothing seems to work for our little gal. Her fever subsided today but her headaches still persist. Seeing her in pain and getting restless every few hours, I feel so helpless.

Today I try to massage her head, neck and shoulders with peppermint essential oil. Hopefully she can sleep through the night without headaches. My last resort.

It is the 6th day. Pray for the best. 🙏🙏

Growing up pains

This week seems too long. Laughters coupled with worries.

It all started with Clarisse developing a mild fever and having aches in legs on Wednesday evening. Thinking that her body might be too heaty from the scorching hot weather and having dhal curry and muruku in school, we went to the TCM doc on Thursday. With her mouth ulcers and red tongue, the doc confirmed the heatiness and prescribed medicine.

The poor girl had headaches and aching calves on and off and her restlessness kicked in each time the pain was unbearable. But her temperature remained at 37 ish in the day. It soared in the middle of nights and kept her awake on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights. I had to administer panadol and mouth gel once on Saturday night before she went back to sleep.

Thieves, lavender and peppermint essential oils don't seem to work very well. But at least she can still sleep at night.

The hub mentioned about teething on Saturday and I went to find out more on google. There is something known as '6 year old molar'. And it can cause headaches and low grade fever. So the next day I checked her teeth and saw whitish on her molar and the sore gums. I believe the culprit is the molar cutting in!

While she is her old self singing, dancing, chatty and even joking with us, she gets restless when the pain is too much for her.

When we finally thought all is good after her dance class this evening with her jokes and chatty self, her temperature soared in the late evening. I really feel at my wits ends. 😥😨

It's the fifth day of fever and headaches today. Aches in legs was gone since the third day.

Praying for fever to be gone... tomorrow!!!

Embarking on a new journey.. very soon

Today we receive a letter from the primary school informing us on Clarisse's class and her house colour. I have been excitedly looking forward to the info and jumped up for joy when I saw the colour is blue! Just because blue is her lucky colour. It would have been nice if it is red as my house colour was red then. 🤣

There are a number of forms to be completed. And the book list is enclosed.
I remember loving the book list and class schedule when I was young and even when I was in poly and university. Haha! Now I have to buy books for my gal and prepare her for her new path.

This feeling is so surreal!

And I hope she would adjust well in her new journey in 3 months and love her new environment, teachers and friends.

Piano journey ~ the mixed feelings

The music journey for my 6 year old Clarisse started right from the womb. I was having piano lessons through my pregnancy. And I thought is a good form of 胎教.

Clarisse loves music and dance from a tender age of 2 years old. She can even sing Chinese oldies and pick up a new song when she hears it.

We are very glad as I believe music in all kinds helps a child in their learning. We signed her up for group music lessons when she was 2.5 years old. She was always an active participant in the class.

A year later in 2015, Clarisse embarked on her piano journey formally. I chose piano mainly because it is the only musical instrument that requires the left and right brain to work. It is as useful as the popular left right brain classes.

She picked up steadily and soon after she is familiar with the notes and can play with both hands. She is exposed to Christmas songs and songs like Mickey Mouse March, Happy Birthday, It's a small world. It is not a simple task and mommy is proud of her.

She performed in two recitals confidently.

Piano practice with mommy is done without complains.

Towards the end of 2016, her piano teacher introduced exam pieces to her and scales and sight reading from early 2017. Lots of practice thus begun. Still there were no complains despite there are times when our home practices reach "breaking point". Mommy loses her sanity several times over piano.. But we persist.. And Clarisse gets better...

I thought I am so blessed..

The first complain, impatience and even teary eyes episodes came suddenly in October 2017. And you said you are not good in piano, as Mommy always scolds you. Mommy was definitely taken aback and honestly fearful. Clarisse even feels like giving up in a few occasions and said piano is the hardest, harder than Chinese and even Math enrichment MPM. I never thought that piano will be tough for you as compared to school subjects.

Clarisse, Mommy believes you have some talent in piano. As much as I wish for you to continue, overcome the obstacles and be able to play a music instrument, Mommy will not force you if you decide not to continue piano. But as I mention to you, practice makes perfect. We should not give up anything in life easily.

In the meantime, Mommy will try best to help you rebuild your confidence. I hope you can understand that to play a piece or scales repeatedly does not mean you are not good. When mommy reprimands you does not also mean you are not good.

From now till the grade 1 exams in Feb-Mar next year, I pray for your patience, determination and perseverance.

A little achievement!

Clarisse's art pieces are recently recognized by her school and the Wildlife Reserves Singapore. At 6 years old, this is her little achievement which definitely caught us by surprise.

We are proud of her and hope that she can continue to enjoy drawing, painting and create more artwork in the midst of upcoming busy schoolwork and schedules.

Lion mom and the homemaker

Started watching the drama, 'Lion mums' on Toggle and fell in love with it. Mothers are able to relate to the stories and we can learn from them too.

'Lion moms' is a new term as opposed to 'tiger moms'. A typical lion mom would nurture the child in other ways and not only exam oriented and focus on good grades.

A year on being a homemaker, or the stay-at-home mom, SAHM (the modern term), has changed me in many ways. Some people said I am fortunate, some said I am not capable enough for the new role, some relatives feel sorry for me that I have wasted my years of education and giving up a highly paid job. Guess what, they probably are correct.

Wearing several hats is, however not easy. To be the wife, the mom, the daughter and the daughter in law can be taxing at times. And to overcome loneliness, especially when all your friends are working and you have no one to talk to most of the time, is something I am still working hard on. The never-ending and repetitive housework is sometimes boring and tiring. You run out of ideas for cooking. Nevertheless, I am still learning to take things slower, relax, to be a better mom to our little lady, nurture her to my best and to be a better homemaker.

The best thing that comes out of this decision, at least for now, is my bonding with our little lady has grown even more. I am thankful to be always there for her as she combats her allergies. To be there for her as she finishes her last lap of preschool education before embarking on her next formal education journey. And to provide guidance in her schoolwork and enrichment, besides helping her with her daily schedules and making sure that she has enough time to play and watch her favourite shows on TV.

A little surprise came yesterday from the Berries Chinese enrichment teacher when she mentioned I must have put in a lot of efforts in guiding as she can see our little lady coping very well and can attempt a higher level next year.

Being a SAHM is not always a poorly made decision. There will be sacrifices. But there will be rewards in some ways that probably not received in the short term.

My little lady is happy, at least till now, that the lion mom is always at home, giving all the love she can.

One more month before my new BIG role

Counting down.. one more month before I assume a new role.

I would never imagine I will agree to assume this role one day.

So it happens, out of the sudden. Destined? A sacrifice? Loss of financial freedom? Loss of contact with the outside world? 

I have to admit, all these questions popped in my mind. What will I become??

Will becoming a SAHM further deteriorate my mental health? Over the last few years, I became mentally strained and now physically tired and often suffered from loss of memory and forgetfulness too. Concentration has become an issue. This is NEVER me before.

Worried. But I have no choice. GO with the flow.